Dignity

by **Jim** Mon Jul 10, 2017 8:57 am

It's a balmy, cloudy, peaceful Sunday morning and I'm sitting in a comfortable chair, looking out at a backyard exploding in every color of the rainbow. Everywhere I look, there are flowers. I'm waiting for a friend to arrive so we can float in the refreshing pool with frosty mugs of corona with lime and a pinch of salt.
I'm wondering if I should take a pill to quiet my aching inflammation even tho it might be the reason my hair is thinning so much. Soon I'll be putting on my bathing suit and frowning at a 71 yr old sagging body.
Until I reflect back on Friday.....
My friend called a couple of times. She'd been in and out of the hospital a few times in the past few months but seemed not to want to discuss the details, (an infection, she'd said) so I never pushed. I'd just go and help her clean. Now she was home again and wanted me to come and help her clean again because her kids were coming over that night. I was always happy for the work and happy to spend a little time with her and her husband and their new border collie in their lovely home.
I showed up, we hugged, and I said, how are you feeling?
She smiled, held out her arms and said, I look healthy don't I?
You look great!!??
I decided not to have the surgery.
What kind of surgery would it have been ?
Cancer, she said.
Oh, I've been there. Is it at a certain stage, do you know...?
It's stage four pancreatic cancer.
I was cleaning the house for her grown children to arrive and we all know how that was going to play out.....
So here I sit, two days later, thinking about her strength, her courage, her fears, her grace, her journey, suddenly becoming grateful for aching joints, thinning hair and a sagging body.

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